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I know, I know, you’re reading this thinking…. how in the heck…. why in the heck would she quit her job when she has a 8 month old baby girl.
But that is just the thing, having my baby girl is what ultimately lead me to making the decision to QUIT MY JOB. I had been working as a preschool teacher since 2014 and I have gained the knowledge and experience to confidently consider myself a professional within my field. Taking care of my students is what fueled me and got me up and moving every morning, even all through my pregnancy with baby Nori I continued to work full-time.
After giving birth to baby Nori I returned to teaching part-time after my eighth week of maternity leave. I was given up to twelve weeks of maternity leave but after eight weeks of being home with a brand new infant, while rediscovering my new body and life that I once used to know, returning to work sounded like the BEST THING EVER.
Four weeks of teaching part-time went by and I felt like I was returning to the groove of the way my life used to be. With that mindset I returned to working full-time at 40 hours a week. Within my first 3 weeks back I had a heavy feeling of guilt attached to my heart, I felt that it was so unfair for my daughter to be at school in the infant classroom for 40 hours a week when she wasn’t the one who needed to be there. To make myself feel better and save a few dollars on childcare, I reduced my daughters days at school to Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. We were literally so fortunate to have my mom keeping her for us Monday and Tuesday’s throughout the week.
Now, I’ve told you guys about my father Joe in one of my earlier blog post about Why I’m loving Bob Marley’s quote, but my MOM she is no doubt the legit definition of a ride or die supporter. She can sell water to the devil and clothe all the children on this earth if given the necessary tools. She’s a phenomenal woman, truly one of her kind.
So, even with my moms support my heart was still was so heavy with guilt. After weeks of contemplating and crying my eyes out to Neil. Together Neil and I finally made the choice to take her out of the school childcare setting completely. I felt that even though I was not with her 40 hours out of the week, at least mom was. I knew she would take care of her better than I could.
After weeks of working full-time without Nori at school with me I felt like I was drowning in life, just sinking with no air. Our schedule was so jam-packed throughout the week no quality time was ever happening.
This is when I began to experience symptoms of postpartum depression.
My symptoms came in the form of anxiety, hyper cleaning or barely moving. There was no balance for me, I became afraid for myself because I did not want to sink to far. I could tell something within my spirit was not right and it was making me incredibly sad. I wanted to fix it so I can be here healthily for my family, I figured the spiritual issue was teaching at full-time hours that was too much for me. I adjusted my work schedule yet again.
It didn’t work out again and I finally went with what my heart has been telling me… I QUIT.
All of me wanted the work, mom, student, and wife life to balance out. It was something I was working towards for many good reasons but not the most important ones. What I wanted and needed was my daughter. In order to get that I had to quit my job. Now it sure as heck helps that I literally have the most supportive and loving husband. He totally gets how important it is to raise and teach our children within our home.
Now that I am actually a stay at home mom I have been doing some awesome research on ways to make money from home, DIY sensory activities for babies, as well as DIY hacks for our growing cluttered home.
I’ll be sharing all my cool new finds with you guys. Be on the look out for fun things.